Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fucking burros!

I had to leave the airport of Pleasant Valley, Peoria or I would be in massive credit card debt for glider flights. But moreso because of the strange occurrence of 'Boogey Burros." What you say? You have heard of the Boogey Man, but not the Boogey Burros? To quote the good senator from AZ... "My friends..."

When you are in your RV late at night and the wine is upon you... and you are writing very long intricate emails... and outside your fucking window you hear the braying of the ass... what would YOU do? I almost pissed myself, I admit. Yes, I admit.

I shut off my interior light and peered through the slats of my blinds to discover the source of said sound! Nothing was to be seen! Yet... again it came, riding on the desert wind as a knife to my gut. HHHHH--SSSSS! I cowered in fear. I scrambled for a weapon and peered out. Nothing, my friends. Nothing.

After a while, I calmed down and turned on my light again, expecting to see out the windshield a demon burro with laserbeam eyes, piercing my brain. Nothing, my friends.

The next day I inquire as to this phenomenon. The glider pilot, Rick, my instructor, tells me of a herd of wild burro that make their way across the runways at night and drink at a tub of water on the park grounds. My fear abates, my friends.

The next night I wander, as I am wont to do, toward the runway to have a cigarette and talk to the gliders. A superstition for good winds the next day. Then I hear them... footsteps. Plodding hooves moving with intent toward my position. I freak out and head back to the RV. I hear them behind me... dozens of clopping sounds. Yet nothing is to be seen, my friends! I hang back by the RV door and then I hear it. The ghostly braying. Not one but two... three.. four beasts crying into the night, their thirst overwhelming them. Their parched throats seek purchase of cool liquid. I saw shadows against the lights of a far off desert town. That was when I hopped in Althea and hid in the bathroom.

If you think Boogey Burros are something to be fucked with, my friends... you will end up as the small compact green lumps that cover the runways every morning. Think... again.

Before I get to the trip to Sedona (dud), I wanted to share a tragedy for America (fuck yeah!). I was riding my bike through a construction yard and found the sad remains of Iron Man. We knew he was lost in flight in late 2008, but this was insult to injury. To be nothing but a pile of rubbish in a town already full of rubbish... an American tragedy.

phx_iron_man_remains

So, I sauntered into the Sedona area. I have not been here for almost nine years and man, is it different! Houses everywhere. This is from the road on the way in.

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Here are some rocks in Sedona.

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This is the Javelina Cantina, my honkies!

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My bad assed vegetarian enchilada with potatoes, spinach and cheddar and green sauce. What? The margarita you say? It is prickly pear puree and tequila.

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*** NERD STUFF ***

So I was looking to see what satellites were visible tonight and tripled over in laughter at the fact that that toolbag that floated away from the ISS during a spacewalk/repair mission is being tracked and you can see it! At mag 8! HAHAHAHAHAH... AHAHAHAHAHA!! That is seriously one of the funniest things I have ever read on a technical astronomy site. Track the Toolbag! HAHAHAH... at mag 8. Yeah right. Like you could even see that from any city in the U.S. OMG... funniest thing ever.

So, I am walking from the RV park today to the town center to get margaritas and this pink Jeep drives by with the sign on the side, Pink Jeep Canyon Tours or some shit like that... full of people on tour, and this kid leans out and points his finger at me and yells, "YEAH MAN!" to which I point the gun hand back at him and yell, "Yeah!"

What the hell? Why does everyone in Arizona have to make note of me? I wasn't even carrying today and I get the AZ salute!

So, I have to wonder... they have parking spaces for disabled people. Well, if you are disabled you really aren't going anywhere are you? When my car is disabled for instance, it doesn't go very far. Why have a parking space for it? Oddness.

Top secret: Whenever I pull out of an RV park, I put the Star Wars Main Theme on the iPod and blast it though the stereo. People look at me kinda weird, but fuck man, it is like the Millennium Falcon pulling out of Mos Eisley! Give a Wookie a break!

2 comments:

Jackie said...

Iron Man - may he rest in pieces.

Teri said...

LOL @ Jackie