They said my feet were too flat.

I don't think a lot of people GOT Mork & Mindy. How many people knew about Boulder at the time? My next sitcom is going to be in Arcata, where my soulmate awaits me in a drunken stupor outside the Red Onion pub and livery.

My fate is construction. Downtown Seattle, I moved into the Nettleton, total disaster. For the entire year I lived there there was construction upstairs and downstairs so loud I could not find my space before going into the show. Reciprocal drills, banging of pipes, all sorts of shit to eventually culminating in me being moved to the OTHER tower in the complex to stay for a month. Which was the worst, cause it was right down the way from Vito's nightclub, which was great for when I was high on Absinthe and the fools exited the place. Of course, it was a yo-yo night club, so at 2am there were usually sisters screaming at each other from four feet away about "where they tampons be at?"

To create balance in this scene, there is the move last year to Alki Beach next to a conspicuously empty lot. Within hours of my move, a new building was being put up! You gotta dig the trip, here, man. I am at home all the fucking day, where I work, sleep, or slay. It is hard to make quick with the slashy-slash when all I can hear is mariachi music and pile drivers. After my six month lease was up, I fucked off back to Des Moines.

Here in the desert town of Phoenix, Arizone, I am at the lovely (and admitted ex-worst-tweaker-park in the city) North Phoenix RV Park. I have the 'best spot in the park' right next to the office, laundry (also internet kiosk), bathrooms, showers, pool, etc. As luck would have it... THIS week, they decided to start remodeling the building! Which means at 7:00a here comes the mariachi music and the nail guns and rotary saws and Fuckall™.

I love A & E. At night, I turn on the old laptop, plug in my cable TV tuner in and have real life crime shit on while I am playing with photos, writing, and digital manipulation. In the matter of twenty minutes, I get to see probably 5-10 corpses in various forms of decay. Brilliant evening imagery.

There are big balloons floating around the desert here. I will make photon-collection reproductions! You will make sticky!

I want to change my name to Sincock. It seems like the Federal thing to do.

Why do shows like Dog the Bounty Hunter get renewed? It is a travesty. It is not informative, it is not enlightening, it doesn't help anyone. You get this hambeast of a woman screaming at people who get pulled accidentally into orbit around her boobs. You get this mullets-r-us Hulk Hogan-a-bee that is still high from way back when yelling shit about brah and Jesus and his crew of people who are unable to carry real weapons because they are poseurs who probably steal cable.

My next unscripted game show is going to be on some deserted isle off Tahiti where everyone has to have sex with the fauna and guess as to which venereal disease they have contracted.

I finally got my ass to the Spring Training yesterday and it was NOT the M's, but the Padres and the Angels. It was actually a really good game. The haloes stomped in the ninth. The bad assed thing about the Spring Training is the fact that the stadium holds 11K, but only about 4K show up. So, you get to just hang about wherever you want and talk to the players and kick little kids in the kneecaps and drink 6 dollar margaritas in the hot sun of the desert. Here are some pics!

My favorite avenue in all of Bisabol!



The Peoria outfield.



Some action on the field! What is happening? I have no clue cause I have... Margarita! (and not the dippy Russki down at the Enterprise Rent-a-Car who can't figure out that you CAN put a bicycle into a cargo van!)



More child abuse by the Padres' Burke. I saw him throw a kid over the railing earlier.



How baseball was meant to be seen.



The BOMB ASS Mexican food in Peoria. This place was completely empty except for Jessica, the server, and myself, Jim. Everyone was down the street hanging out at the Mick joint getting stupid non-compostable green plastic bead strands and shitty Budweiser with food coloring in it. Me? To quote the great Bukowski, "I'm drrrrrinkking!"



Today the M's are 'away' playing the Royals. The stadium in which that contest is to be held is only 5 miles from the Peoria Sports Complex. Interestingly, there are TEN stadia here within a few miles of each other. How Columbo!

Behind the RV park I am in is a nice little mountain I will be hiking up later. I should post pics. Also there may be some hot air balloons in the sky I will try to bring to light.

In the next few days or next week, I am going to try to get out to Roswell to see where I was born. My birth certificate says Torrance, CA, but I think that is some kind of crypto-anagram for Roswell, NM. I remember a bit of the birthing process and there were these rocks and mountains all around and a Big Wheel and a Nerf football and a Spirograph. Also gotta stop at the Carlsbad Caverns which is where I was raised by the outcast EBE's from the M51 system. It if funny that most of us tend to think of alien races in terms of the Zeta Reticulans, the Pleidians, or maybe the Mizar Binary groups, but these are all in the Milky Way. Think about all the Exosystem Entities. The EEs make up a FAR larger population of overall EBEs and EQEs and those are just the carbon-based organic biological ones. I am not even counting the Androidal Multipedal races from the Magellanic Cloud Collective. To them, Roswell is like... Bakersfield... which is like Roswell to those from Bakersfield. We don't have a proper contingent of representation there in Bakersfield, but there is a small underground transfer station not far south near Lamont.

Gotta run, droogies! Gotta date with Junior Griffey. Funny thing, I have his rookie card at home. I should have brought it down here to get autographed on the last year of his career! You see? The alpha AND the omega!