Friday, April 3, 2009

I killed a man, Father. I am afraid I am going to Haiti!

Wouldn't that be Hades, my son?

Nay Father... HAITI! It's MUCH worse! Think on it... voodoo, AIDS, transient governments, those National Geographic boobies, terrible whiskey!

Aye my son, to Haiti yer goin'.

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After leaving the Sedona (during my worldwide tour of Arizona), I decided I had had enough of the good life and ventured into the desolate town of Panguitch, UT. That was a FUCK of a drive, let me say. I had to go up through Flagstaff and took 89A out to the Colorado river, the painted desert, across the border, through Kanab, UT and into Panguitch. There is one RV park open in Panguitch (pronounced PAIN-gwich) and one restaurant, which was mom-and-pop style grease burger, greasy fries or MEAT chili. Tough to be a vegetarian in Utah.

Below is a video of my drive along with some pics of the painted desert. The desert is incredible in its beauty and majesty. Again, why the good lord Jehovah gave the most pristine parts of our country to the people He did... beyond my ken, fellow testicle-munchers.

I found BFE in Arizona, my friends. (Yeah, I know I labeled the video wrongly.)

Here is the painted desert, which actually looks much cooler than these photos. I suck. But... it pays the bills.





I finally got to the Colorado River. In the Bible, it states that after God made the world 6000 years ago, the mighty Colorado carved out the Grand Canyon in a few weeks. It is in Leviticus. Believe me. HAVE FAITH!

Here is a video of me taking in the wonder of Jehovah.

After all this driving, I meandered across the Utah/Arizona border and stopped outside of Kanab, UT to buy some rocks and gemstones. I was open-carrying at the time, which I prefer to do in the Wild West. The proprietor of the gem store eyed my sidearm and launched into an Anti-Obama tirade, assuming I was a good ol' boy or something to that effect. He has no love for the man, apparently, but respects the office he holds and there is a fag on his son's football team, but if he plays good ball, let him play. Ahhh... the southwest, what can you do. How soon can I get back to Seattle? HELP!

In Panguitch, I stayed at a little mom and pop RV park. The lady that eventually came down from some unseen locale was a laugh riot. Across the room, I could still smell the Johnny Walker on her breath. She wanted to charge my CC for 25K and take off to the Bahamas with me. She was too drunk to go see what spots were available, so I walked around the park and found a good place to park. There was ONE restaurant open that night to eat. Since I didn't want burgers, chicken, ribs, or... burgers... I settled on the fish and chips, which I had to leave for a date with the shitter 5 minutes into my meal.

I hurried out of there the next morning in a rush of bullet fire and diesel smoke. On my way to SALT LAKE SHITTY! As the luck of the Irish would have it, it decided to snow for two days, my bike got a flat for which I had not kit to fix, and my main battery acted up. I had dinner with the ex-inlaws, which was extremely pleasant and gracious, and off I was to West Wendover, NV.

So, Wendover is an interesting place. Half of the city exists in the Utah and the other half in the Nevada. I was not sure of the carry laws in Nevada, so I disarmed once I got inside state lines. But on the way, I stopped at the Bonneville Salt Flats to take a pee. The young man attending to the rest stop asked about my carry and we talked guns for a bit. He carried a Springfield Arms .40, which is a GREAT gun. I have fired that model a few times. Clean, low-recoil, accurate. He started getting lippy about my 9mm, so I shot him dead and put him in the salt flats to make good jerky for future travelers. Oh! Here is the salt flats.


This shit is FLAT, my friends...


Since homeboy's name was Sim, I figured I should label the salt, so his family would know where to find his caliber-discriminating ass.


Now, when you pull into Wendover, you definitely know which side you are on: Sin or Salvation. You can guess which side I chose.


More to come, including pics of my excellent hotel room in Wendover. I won big money that night playing the craps. I have a certain flair for throwing 7/11 on the come out. Don't ask me why but I made a lot of people a lot of money. Do I get a tip? Hells naw!

Much love to all included!

1 comment:

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